Learning to Let Go: Trusting God in Motherhood

I’ve been looking for a job for the last 9 months & oftentimes, I find myself wondering if God has a specific career path planned for me or if that’s even part of His plan at all. Some days, I think I know what path He’s leading me down, and others, I get stuck. Most days, I am confident that He gave me the ability to write so that I can share just how loving, merciful, and compassionate He is towards us but unfortunately, I tend to feel insecure about my thoughts when my words don’t flow as smoothly.

Since my son was born, I have been a stay-at-home mom. While I feel blessed most of the time, there are other times when I feel like I have more to give. It sounds silly, but sometime in my life, I learned that just being a mom wasn’t “enough.” Up until the birth of my son, I always felt like I needed to stay busy with work. If I am being honest, it’s a pride issue for me; It’s almost like I was wired to one-up myself every week.

Maybe it’s because I was raised watching two parents work multiple jobs to stay afloat. Or maybe it’s so that I can help my husband build our finances so he doesn’t have to take it all on himself. Whatever the case might be, these thoughts tend to live in my head rent-free. I know I am not the only one who battles with these thoughts; at least, I hope I’m not. 😬

Before becoming a mom, I was convinced that there was absolutely no way that I could be with my kids all day (sounds terrible) because I wanted to have something outside of motherhood. Why? I don’t know. I didn’t even know what it felt like to be a mother yet.

Today, I was reading Proverbs 22, and verse 6 caught my attention.

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Proverbs 22:6

Growing up, I wasn’t raised in the church. I would go on occasion by myself, but it was never a family practice. My parents, grandparents, and older brother all believed in God, but no one really taught me the story of Jesus or why his death and resurrection are important. It wasn’t until tragedy struck my life that I began to question what our true purpose in this world was.

When I was 25, my father passed away from lung cancer pretty abruptly. We had only known for a few months and were optimistic that his cancer would be cured based on what his care providers told us. Unfortunately, we did not get the ending we had hoped for, but I know now that that season of my life brought me closer to Jesus.

The day before my dad met Jesus in Heaven, he woke up, looked at me, and said, “I need you to get closer to God,” before drifting back to sleep. It was a surreal moment—one I will never forget. My dad’s words guided me toward a deeper commitment to living my life for Jesus. Although my father’s death was an extremely trying time in my life, I needed that moment to truly begin my relationship with the Lord.

As a parent, I now understand that my most important calling is to show my child — and any future children — the love of the Lord and the significance of His death and resurrection. My desire to feel “needed” in the workforce pales in comparison to the responsibility of helping my children build a strong foundation in Christ. The skills God has given me are gifts, and while they may not be fully utilized in this season, I trust that they will serve a purpose in His perfect timing.

If you’re a new mom who has battled with this, just know that I see you. Our work in motherhood will not go to waste. Through the sleepless nights and long days, God sees us. He knows how hard we work.

But as for you, be strong; don’t give up, for your work has a reward.

2 Chronicles 15:7